DEPRESSING & Harsh but Fair - The Humans Part 1

I've always struggled with understanding human kind and today im going to express this LOVE HATE relationship i have with The Humans i associate with and the ones i see wondering by. They talk about Xfactor and the size of their boyfriends tiny hairless dicks, which they feel is making them look big, "dis-ing" their "boy" but little does she know that she canNOT look any bigger than she currently does because she is a UNIT and the size 18 dress from topshop does not cover up the fact that your tits arent naturally big. You have FAT GIRL TITS which me and an ole flame would discuss over tea and chicken noodles and hoops which were seperated by a wall of toast. Im unsure why this isnt a RANT, It will most probably become a RANT as im pissed off and the only way im going to be able to complete my University Report is if i let off some steam.

TODAYS SUBJECT: Humans, out and about.

I live in a huge City, so i see the most dim witted and oddly attractive humans there are, so i feel asthough i have top marks in ripping the shit out of all kinds of humans in there natural habbitats.
I am slightly different, but not in a "Cool im a goth (which yes believe it or not i once was a heavy mental, hash smoking twat, with the worst make-up) im uber different and cool and i hate pink because everybody love it" NO you hate pink because everybody hates pink but secretly you love pink but because pink is a girlie colour and you are "different" you hate it which of course isnt different because you, yes you, are never going to amount to anything if the main thing on your mind is hating anything, let alone a colour. Im slightly different because i can see how much of a typical cunt i am but i cannot stop it, its like a disease, spreading to every organ but my brain, my brain is no longer in charge, the disease is. Luckly i do mingle with some good people that agree with the state of the planet we are living in. Only one of them, the one im most involved with is really effected to the point of no return, "hippie" like but in the best way. Im starting to agree with he and il give alittle fucking explanation as to why:

    Humans of the future are fucked, im not even sure i want to risk my body, pushing out a smaller more fucked up version of myself, that will hang off the only good nipple that has feeling (got punched in the tit when i was at juniour school by my boyfriend at the time, a congratualational punch in the tit for winning in a game of bull dog) sucking me dry and forcing me to conform. I MUST WORK TO PROVIDE FOR MY FAMILY, I MUST BE ANGRY BECAUSE ITS MY PERIOD, I MUST STOP SWEARING AS ITS unlady LIKE.
Mate im not going to stop doing or start doing anything until im ready. Stereotypes are my favourite because at the tender age of 21 i do not fit any of them. I used to do "drugs" but like your mouth gets used to the taste of red wine my mouth rejects anything that could possibly make me happy, the government is controlling my mouth, i wear tight trousers yes, but not enough stupid hair or makeup to be "Emo" i also dont want to kill myself which pushes me toward not being a "mentalist" im mixed race but i dont talk like i've be raised in da "ghetto" so im not a "gangsta" i also dont go out drinking every week with my uglier friends and suck on a different drunken cock every week so im no "slag" "slut" "skank" i dont fuck for money either so im no "whore" im an art student, but i do not shove paint brushes up my chuff and tickle my clit with promarkers or spray cans so im not an "art fag" i dont look like my outfit is worth less that 5 english pounds nor do i drink special brew on the street so im neither a "scum bag" nor a "chav" im not a workaholic, wimp, bully, bible basher, faith hater, straight edge, fighter, batty -...

  ...I mean the list of me placing people into genres could go on until my report is late for its hand in date but the fact is that these silly words for people doing what they want or should or shouldnt be doing is what is fucking wrong. Go get fucked royally for money, if you love fucking whats the problem, if you do something you love you never work a day - something my dad says to me all the time. If you are a fake person, you arent doing anything wrong, as its your life and if you choose to lead it, fucking up everyones lives you involve yourself with then shame on them for being so silly to allow that or congrates for being an excellent fake person. Do you understand, have i lost you? because even im not fucking sure what im going on about. I think there are breeds of humans, like cats and dog and pigs ect, HUMANS, all acting and looking the same but trying to be different. Using words like "Sic" and "buzzing" in the wrong context. You can be buzzing your tits off after doing a gram of MDMA of course, but you cannot be buzzing for christmas or next year. Buzzing all year round is impossible unless you are Charlie Sheen.
Its just stupid fucking people living there stupid little lives trying to fit in. Im a prime example, going to Uni, becoming in debt to "futher" myself, worrying about my hair in the morning, getting upset over people doing what they want to do, wanting to look or be like "celebs". This is the world i've been shown, by friends and family, why wouldnt i think that. Ive cheated and laughed at people's unfortunate lives because im a typical cunt just like you all. I watch 'Made in Chelsea' and want a nice house with a huge back garden with a tiny dog in it, that fucking barks every morning at my asian neighbours. There isnt a reason i shouldnt want this, im a process of television an governed funding. Im just proud i'll never be a teenage mother, but is there anything wrong with that? I dont see why we as humans are the most inhumane of creatures. I want to build my own house which i'd have to save up for my entire life, and then fuck off and die just as i get to enjoy it and my spoilt kids that i have hardly raised because i work a 6 day week get it all and lose it in a marriage settlement to a hot bodied blonde who's half their age. I dont believe in imaginary friends so i dont believe in anything really, no gods, no ghosts, no people or myself. You might say im a sad old women in a body of youth, but thats what you think, not what everybody thinks. How you are suppost to impress or try to upset everybody you meet. Its impossible quite like forgetting when you get cheated on by a friend, or forgetting when you cheated a friend.

    My life consists of pretending i want to go out with my "friend" so she can get really drunk and offend me, because im more funny than she- although her anger toward me is only because she expects the guys are impressed by me, which of course they arent because they would rather have their dicks blown than giggle at a noraml looking human, who isnt covered head to toe is foundation and liquid eye liner. As i pretend to enjoy myself i dream of a life that isnt paying for things and then having them stolen, i dont have to get a degree to prove i love design and i have real friends that let me stay home and hunt for pictures of perfect legs and perfect hair that i crave then masturbate freely and make as much noise as i want in cumming, then after having a cup of tea- a tasty cigarette, i can draw happily, with no deadline as i have a clear mind, and have forgotten the past i once expierenced.

Something i wrote a year ago today!

"Today proved my feelings were right all along, Head count!

Mother, brothers- three of, god mother and her daughter. We are all in the living area.

The women all talking about children, and family problems, getting all emotional, probably their periods all in sync. My brothers playing call of duty together, pretending to be involved with one another but i can tell they all want to do different things. I was there also but not mingling into any group, i blended in more with the furniture, every now and then i cracked a joke in which they all laughed of course and then spoke of how funny i am, such a fun and dangerous life style she does lead, when really im just pretending im clever and fun loving, i even do it in class, make-up words and answer questions i dont know the answer too. I was secretly bullshitting my way through a family day in which i lied, passed wind casually, drank too much tea and giggled about wether they could smell or heard my passing of gas."

I am hoping i can change, or conform more so im not in the middle of this human mess i can see and smell everywhere. Or can we not escape how we have become because of the society we live in? How can we all not be the same, when we are all walking around with the Queen either in our pockets or wallets? Are we all products of misscommunication? Is it the oxygen in which we breathe that forces everybody to act an utter shithead? You decide, my anger is gone and i now feel sorry for my fellow humans who feel asthough- we, and the way we all live is okay for now. Carrying on with bad driving, getting in peoples way in the supermarket, queueing, being silent in the doctors surgery, taking photographs of you and your boyfriend fucking and putting them on facebook, crying because you made a mistake, laughing because the comedy programme you are watching has canned laughter when the funny bits happen, texting your ex-girlfriend for sex, downing a pint, punching people in the face, wearing the latest fashion, listening to 80's music and not because its great (which it is) but because its "in", smoking and not inhaling, coughing and sicking, shitting and pissing, being awake and being asleep... sleeping off the day to then repeat it again. wake, get ready for work, walk/cycle/drive to work, WORK, lunch time with work friends talking about work, work some more, leave work, have dinner with friends and moan about work, tickle/pleasure/curse with partner you met in an old job or through a work colleague and sleep to then do it all over again and to then do it all over again and do over again.
Just Remember that any reaction you have is neither the wrong or right way to react, so why react. - Just keep your mouth shut you fucking robot.