Chill out MATE

After laying in bed feeling rough as hell after a night of talking too much and pissing like a race horse ive realised alot of things, i shall list them for you:
1.) Im a moaning cunt
2.) I am currently living in the past
3.) I am a typical women (MOANING, attempting to look attractive, cooking, cleaning, and I think I know                better that any other fucker, Bitching, consuming, pretending i dont fart but clearly i did and it sounded            like my bum was whispering.
4.) I lie so much it would seem ive convinced myself of some of my lies which is mental
5.) I NEED TO CHANGE
6.) I am so fucking lazy

I can keep the funny side of my living but i do not need to be such a depressive cunt, because truely, nobody wants to put their penis anywhere near something that does their head in.. For the sake of the loves of my life im going to transform into someone who doesnt want to moan and punch children on buses because they have silly hair cuts and drink too much coca cola, but someone who is thinking that but just doesnt say. If asked directly i will not lie i will say "yes mate i really want to put my A2 sketch pad through that 11 year olds head, forcing the terrible corn-rows to seperate and the can of coca cola to fizz dramically as it hit the ground with force, the fizzing sounds could be my theme music for my bus murder, bubbly and black like my heart must be for sparing the life of the crackfaced bitch at the back of the vehicle, who's playing Devlin - London City on this brummie bus, when secretly we all know that she would rather be playing the new hit by Maroon 5 delicately named - Moves like Jagger. But she wants to appear -HARD and MODERN- 

I am sometimes lovely, like when you put your hand in an old coats pocket and find a condom wrapper and a fifty pence piece and think- God, ive lived the high life. I need to show this side of myself off more often.

So in memory of the personality make-over im going to take part in, this RANTBLOBBER will say her final last words from this side of the depression express which isnt stopping at mistakes made but is going right through to the happier life/success whole..hole....hole

All of my memories, the bad ones: are now going to be wiped, so the ex-boyfriends, the old mates, the leggings that made my arse look amazing that i lost, the phone i had stolen when i was at school- reason for a "friend" robbing my shit was because i was a "greebo" (the school did fuck all about the theiving little cunts, and i had ideas, ideas that caused me to have my first ever rant, id tell you the story of my plan but i fear that i also talk about myself too much, and if this blog happened to become popular and i appear on the Piers Morgan show therefore making my name which noone knows google-able, leading the horrid teens to see what i fancied doing to get them back for taking my Motorola Razr away from me, i might get sued or considered a health and safety risk- Sad times.

The point is that im taking my foot out of the passed and firmly leaving it above the sea of apathetic behaviour.

"Friends and lovers may have grown from us in a good or bad way, but you only live once and as there is no heaven and hell nor is there a saviour, do not dwell on your lose or your pain- because its really fucking impractical when it comes to living your fucking life, grow up and pretend you arent affected and soon you will not be." - Elizabeth Consistution-Hill

So this is the first day of the rest of my life, im not excited but im willing to take part.
with my university course going splendidly, my driving test near approaching and my ideas of purchasing a bald cat, things are looking up.

Keeping in the spirit of things (literally) im going to throw a little FUNeral for myself; Yes odd i know.
TOP FIVE THINGS THAT CHEER ME UP THIS MONTH IN CELEBRATION OF MY PAST LIFE:


5.) AMAZING LOOKING FOODS

Who wouldnt want these two sexy dishes, goodness me. Ive always prefered the idea of food, ive never been a "real eater" but ive got mad pictures of mouth watering plates with food on and when im feeling not so fresh, il have a sneak peak of some food photography and my days is made so much better.








4.) Bald Cats:

 

3.) www.ebaumsworld.com

This website is amazing. I remember joining this site when i was 13 years old, being scared of trippys mirrior image and watching the cartoon porn and getting off to it, it was something id never thought id still enjoy, good videos, good gallerys and fun news. Some people wake up in the morning and check their telephone or facebook - I check Ebaumsworld. 

2.) Tu Delft Library - Netherlands

I had to do a report on this library, and i spent so much time, researching it, reading books about it, writting about it. Whenever i see a picture of it, i feel like i want to cry with joy at the beautiful cultural, traditional but yet modern interiors. I want to read books at TU delft.

1.) Venetian snares - Filth

This album by the highly talented Arron Funk, has got me walking like a motherfucker on a motherfucking mission. Going to the pub quiz on sunday listening to these two songs ive provide for you here to have a good ole listen to. To the right - Chainsaw fellatio and below, Mongoloid Alien. VSnares always sets me up for a bloody good day, i advice you take 10 minutes of your time and have a listen to these two tracks - all the way through - dont skip bits like a total cunt.

 

So now that i am dead and buried and my five loves of the month are tightly living side by side, i feel like the 2 hours sleep i had lastnight are toying with me, im not sure wether i want to eat nandos or throw up so i shall leave you with this....

REMEMBER GANG 

It is never too late to change, unless you wanted to kill yourself, and then you killed yourself. You can only make choices when you are living . Yeah GO FUCK YOURSELF, im going to.