QUESTION (tell me what you think about me) - Destiny's Child

Q. Vampires: Based on the Twilight Saga- (and the vampires in those books and films)
        Would anal sex be difficult or more pleasurable? Considering they havent eaten (only drink blood) therefore haven't taken a shit in nearly over a thousand years (depending on the vampire) will their arseholes be so tight it could resemble a tear duct hole or can the arsehole be opened, maybe they have to use dildo's regularly to keep the arsehole from closing, like a tunnel stretching out an ear hole.
        Then again, surely a vampire penis cannot work, due to the fact there is no blood pumping around the body and the penis can only be erect due to blood spreading down to the penis. Realism clearly was not thought of, well not when it came to the sexual activity of the vampires.
        So yeah, could Bella and Edward do anal? now she is a vampire, i suppose they could do anal once a week to keep the arsehole from shrinking. But before Edward met Bella, if he dated vampire girls, who had become a vampire around the same time as he did, but they met thousands of years on, and she hadn't been penetrated for thousands of years, in the vagina or the arsehole. Would this new vampire (for the sake of the question i shall name her- April) Would April and Edward be able to preform anal sex?
        Let me know.

Loves, lovers, lovest, love you love, but now loved you.

Love, is as much real as God is: 

(in my eyes) 

After relationships end and you gain nothing positive from them other than weight lose- I think of why we needed to experience it, why are we all lining ourselves up for a fall? 

It’s just there, Love, an excuse to act out of character or out of control. Like faith is to the sick cancer patient, who has two children and is simply dying to stay alive another year to see their kids develop into adults, wish they could be there when they make mistakes, whether they be good or bad. This smile on the face of the dying is because they know somehow God will take care of them, God will set them free As their skin turns a rusty yellow, like cheddar cheese and their breathe becomes less they do not realise what love is, how it feels, what it really is. It’s an idea, which like their God has not been proven, and like their God is being relied on, being bent and torn- pieces are breaking off of it and going missing and in the end it’s clear that it was never anything at all, as their weak hands are bare. This is always realised too late, only on the religious person’s death bed will their faith be tested, and only when the love is dwindling does the lover recognise what Love is. Its pain, and it doesn’t last forever as it didn’t exist, it was a picture painted for them, through the media and fake pictures of fake smiles with fake people. 

Weeks of random patterns of crying and being okay will occur, depending on the amount of time this “Love” was present for. At first everything will seem terrible and the idea of even thinking makes you sad and effortless but as time passes so does the idea of “love” or the “lover” and normality sets in. The sun seems bright again and laughing at the television isn’t forced, your heart has had the time off it needed and all is well with the human body.

 As your heart grows stronger and your personality returns to how it was before your relationship, you leave the house more, drink with friends or go to a drawing class, hell, maybe even yoga if you are feeling fruity. And then it starts, there is a human on the other side of the room, who is attractive and questionable, you want answers, a name, a sent and like our cancer patient, the illness rides your body. You do not even realise what you are doing, you aren’t thinking of your future. 

As the patient’s last breathe leaves the body, we are left wondering:

“I wonder if there is a heaven and if God is waiting there for them”

And as the relationship dies and takes everything that was built on its foundation from beneath it, I am not left wondering, I am left broken. Telling myself I will never Love again, I will never meet someone new and share my life with them. At the back of my mind, I am craving I’ll be proven wrong and “happiness” “love” and “marriage” are an option for the future. I am tricking myself and those around me into believing something. I am the media and I am one of those fake people in the fake picture, with the huge fake smile on my face, not believeing in God but hoping and praying for Love – Pathetic.

Chill out MATE

After laying in bed feeling rough as hell after a night of talking too much and pissing like a race horse ive realised alot of things, i shall list them for you:
1.) Im a moaning cunt
2.) I am currently living in the past
3.) I am a typical women (MOANING, attempting to look attractive, cooking, cleaning, and I think I know                better that any other fucker, Bitching, consuming, pretending i dont fart but clearly i did and it sounded            like my bum was whispering.
4.) I lie so much it would seem ive convinced myself of some of my lies which is mental
5.) I NEED TO CHANGE
6.) I am so fucking lazy

I can keep the funny side of my living but i do not need to be such a depressive cunt, because truely, nobody wants to put their penis anywhere near something that does their head in.. For the sake of the loves of my life im going to transform into someone who doesnt want to moan and punch children on buses because they have silly hair cuts and drink too much coca cola, but someone who is thinking that but just doesnt say. If asked directly i will not lie i will say "yes mate i really want to put my A2 sketch pad through that 11 year olds head, forcing the terrible corn-rows to seperate and the can of coca cola to fizz dramically as it hit the ground with force, the fizzing sounds could be my theme music for my bus murder, bubbly and black like my heart must be for sparing the life of the crackfaced bitch at the back of the vehicle, who's playing Devlin - London City on this brummie bus, when secretly we all know that she would rather be playing the new hit by Maroon 5 delicately named - Moves like Jagger. But she wants to appear -HARD and MODERN- 

I am sometimes lovely, like when you put your hand in an old coats pocket and find a condom wrapper and a fifty pence piece and think- God, ive lived the high life. I need to show this side of myself off more often.

So in memory of the personality make-over im going to take part in, this RANTBLOBBER will say her final last words from this side of the depression express which isnt stopping at mistakes made but is going right through to the happier life/success whole..hole....hole

All of my memories, the bad ones: are now going to be wiped, so the ex-boyfriends, the old mates, the leggings that made my arse look amazing that i lost, the phone i had stolen when i was at school- reason for a "friend" robbing my shit was because i was a "greebo" (the school did fuck all about the theiving little cunts, and i had ideas, ideas that caused me to have my first ever rant, id tell you the story of my plan but i fear that i also talk about myself too much, and if this blog happened to become popular and i appear on the Piers Morgan show therefore making my name which noone knows google-able, leading the horrid teens to see what i fancied doing to get them back for taking my Motorola Razr away from me, i might get sued or considered a health and safety risk- Sad times.

The point is that im taking my foot out of the passed and firmly leaving it above the sea of apathetic behaviour.

"Friends and lovers may have grown from us in a good or bad way, but you only live once and as there is no heaven and hell nor is there a saviour, do not dwell on your lose or your pain- because its really fucking impractical when it comes to living your fucking life, grow up and pretend you arent affected and soon you will not be." - Elizabeth Consistution-Hill

So this is the first day of the rest of my life, im not excited but im willing to take part.
with my university course going splendidly, my driving test near approaching and my ideas of purchasing a bald cat, things are looking up.

Keeping in the spirit of things (literally) im going to throw a little FUNeral for myself; Yes odd i know.
TOP FIVE THINGS THAT CHEER ME UP THIS MONTH IN CELEBRATION OF MY PAST LIFE:


5.) AMAZING LOOKING FOODS

Who wouldnt want these two sexy dishes, goodness me. Ive always prefered the idea of food, ive never been a "real eater" but ive got mad pictures of mouth watering plates with food on and when im feeling not so fresh, il have a sneak peak of some food photography and my days is made so much better.








4.) Bald Cats:

 

3.) www.ebaumsworld.com

This website is amazing. I remember joining this site when i was 13 years old, being scared of trippys mirrior image and watching the cartoon porn and getting off to it, it was something id never thought id still enjoy, good videos, good gallerys and fun news. Some people wake up in the morning and check their telephone or facebook - I check Ebaumsworld. 

2.) Tu Delft Library - Netherlands

I had to do a report on this library, and i spent so much time, researching it, reading books about it, writting about it. Whenever i see a picture of it, i feel like i want to cry with joy at the beautiful cultural, traditional but yet modern interiors. I want to read books at TU delft.

1.) Venetian snares - Filth

This album by the highly talented Arron Funk, has got me walking like a motherfucker on a motherfucking mission. Going to the pub quiz on sunday listening to these two songs ive provide for you here to have a good ole listen to. To the right - Chainsaw fellatio and below, Mongoloid Alien. VSnares always sets me up for a bloody good day, i advice you take 10 minutes of your time and have a listen to these two tracks - all the way through - dont skip bits like a total cunt.

 

So now that i am dead and buried and my five loves of the month are tightly living side by side, i feel like the 2 hours sleep i had lastnight are toying with me, im not sure wether i want to eat nandos or throw up so i shall leave you with this....

REMEMBER GANG 

It is never too late to change, unless you wanted to kill yourself, and then you killed yourself. You can only make choices when you are living . Yeah GO FUCK YOURSELF, im going to.

DEPRESSING & Harsh but Fair - The Humans Part 1

I've always struggled with understanding human kind and today im going to express this LOVE HATE relationship i have with The Humans i associate with and the ones i see wondering by. They talk about Xfactor and the size of their boyfriends tiny hairless dicks, which they feel is making them look big, "dis-ing" their "boy" but little does she know that she canNOT look any bigger than she currently does because she is a UNIT and the size 18 dress from topshop does not cover up the fact that your tits arent naturally big. You have FAT GIRL TITS which me and an ole flame would discuss over tea and chicken noodles and hoops which were seperated by a wall of toast. Im unsure why this isnt a RANT, It will most probably become a RANT as im pissed off and the only way im going to be able to complete my University Report is if i let off some steam.

TODAYS SUBJECT: Humans, out and about.

I live in a huge City, so i see the most dim witted and oddly attractive humans there are, so i feel asthough i have top marks in ripping the shit out of all kinds of humans in there natural habbitats.
I am slightly different, but not in a "Cool im a goth (which yes believe it or not i once was a heavy mental, hash smoking twat, with the worst make-up) im uber different and cool and i hate pink because everybody love it" NO you hate pink because everybody hates pink but secretly you love pink but because pink is a girlie colour and you are "different" you hate it which of course isnt different because you, yes you, are never going to amount to anything if the main thing on your mind is hating anything, let alone a colour. Im slightly different because i can see how much of a typical cunt i am but i cannot stop it, its like a disease, spreading to every organ but my brain, my brain is no longer in charge, the disease is. Luckly i do mingle with some good people that agree with the state of the planet we are living in. Only one of them, the one im most involved with is really effected to the point of no return, "hippie" like but in the best way. Im starting to agree with he and il give alittle fucking explanation as to why:

    Humans of the future are fucked, im not even sure i want to risk my body, pushing out a smaller more fucked up version of myself, that will hang off the only good nipple that has feeling (got punched in the tit when i was at juniour school by my boyfriend at the time, a congratualational punch in the tit for winning in a game of bull dog) sucking me dry and forcing me to conform. I MUST WORK TO PROVIDE FOR MY FAMILY, I MUST BE ANGRY BECAUSE ITS MY PERIOD, I MUST STOP SWEARING AS ITS unlady LIKE.
Mate im not going to stop doing or start doing anything until im ready. Stereotypes are my favourite because at the tender age of 21 i do not fit any of them. I used to do "drugs" but like your mouth gets used to the taste of red wine my mouth rejects anything that could possibly make me happy, the government is controlling my mouth, i wear tight trousers yes, but not enough stupid hair or makeup to be "Emo" i also dont want to kill myself which pushes me toward not being a "mentalist" im mixed race but i dont talk like i've be raised in da "ghetto" so im not a "gangsta" i also dont go out drinking every week with my uglier friends and suck on a different drunken cock every week so im no "slag" "slut" "skank" i dont fuck for money either so im no "whore" im an art student, but i do not shove paint brushes up my chuff and tickle my clit with promarkers or spray cans so im not an "art fag" i dont look like my outfit is worth less that 5 english pounds nor do i drink special brew on the street so im neither a "scum bag" nor a "chav" im not a workaholic, wimp, bully, bible basher, faith hater, straight edge, fighter, batty -...

  ...I mean the list of me placing people into genres could go on until my report is late for its hand in date but the fact is that these silly words for people doing what they want or should or shouldnt be doing is what is fucking wrong. Go get fucked royally for money, if you love fucking whats the problem, if you do something you love you never work a day - something my dad says to me all the time. If you are a fake person, you arent doing anything wrong, as its your life and if you choose to lead it, fucking up everyones lives you involve yourself with then shame on them for being so silly to allow that or congrates for being an excellent fake person. Do you understand, have i lost you? because even im not fucking sure what im going on about. I think there are breeds of humans, like cats and dog and pigs ect, HUMANS, all acting and looking the same but trying to be different. Using words like "Sic" and "buzzing" in the wrong context. You can be buzzing your tits off after doing a gram of MDMA of course, but you cannot be buzzing for christmas or next year. Buzzing all year round is impossible unless you are Charlie Sheen.
Its just stupid fucking people living there stupid little lives trying to fit in. Im a prime example, going to Uni, becoming in debt to "futher" myself, worrying about my hair in the morning, getting upset over people doing what they want to do, wanting to look or be like "celebs". This is the world i've been shown, by friends and family, why wouldnt i think that. Ive cheated and laughed at people's unfortunate lives because im a typical cunt just like you all. I watch 'Made in Chelsea' and want a nice house with a huge back garden with a tiny dog in it, that fucking barks every morning at my asian neighbours. There isnt a reason i shouldnt want this, im a process of television an governed funding. Im just proud i'll never be a teenage mother, but is there anything wrong with that? I dont see why we as humans are the most inhumane of creatures. I want to build my own house which i'd have to save up for my entire life, and then fuck off and die just as i get to enjoy it and my spoilt kids that i have hardly raised because i work a 6 day week get it all and lose it in a marriage settlement to a hot bodied blonde who's half their age. I dont believe in imaginary friends so i dont believe in anything really, no gods, no ghosts, no people or myself. You might say im a sad old women in a body of youth, but thats what you think, not what everybody thinks. How you are suppost to impress or try to upset everybody you meet. Its impossible quite like forgetting when you get cheated on by a friend, or forgetting when you cheated a friend.

    My life consists of pretending i want to go out with my "friend" so she can get really drunk and offend me, because im more funny than she- although her anger toward me is only because she expects the guys are impressed by me, which of course they arent because they would rather have their dicks blown than giggle at a noraml looking human, who isnt covered head to toe is foundation and liquid eye liner. As i pretend to enjoy myself i dream of a life that isnt paying for things and then having them stolen, i dont have to get a degree to prove i love design and i have real friends that let me stay home and hunt for pictures of perfect legs and perfect hair that i crave then masturbate freely and make as much noise as i want in cumming, then after having a cup of tea- a tasty cigarette, i can draw happily, with no deadline as i have a clear mind, and have forgotten the past i once expierenced.

Something i wrote a year ago today!

"Today proved my feelings were right all along, Head count!

Mother, brothers- three of, god mother and her daughter. We are all in the living area.

The women all talking about children, and family problems, getting all emotional, probably their periods all in sync. My brothers playing call of duty together, pretending to be involved with one another but i can tell they all want to do different things. I was there also but not mingling into any group, i blended in more with the furniture, every now and then i cracked a joke in which they all laughed of course and then spoke of how funny i am, such a fun and dangerous life style she does lead, when really im just pretending im clever and fun loving, i even do it in class, make-up words and answer questions i dont know the answer too. I was secretly bullshitting my way through a family day in which i lied, passed wind casually, drank too much tea and giggled about wether they could smell or heard my passing of gas."

I am hoping i can change, or conform more so im not in the middle of this human mess i can see and smell everywhere. Or can we not escape how we have become because of the society we live in? How can we all not be the same, when we are all walking around with the Queen either in our pockets or wallets? Are we all products of misscommunication? Is it the oxygen in which we breathe that forces everybody to act an utter shithead? You decide, my anger is gone and i now feel sorry for my fellow humans who feel asthough- we, and the way we all live is okay for now. Carrying on with bad driving, getting in peoples way in the supermarket, queueing, being silent in the doctors surgery, taking photographs of you and your boyfriend fucking and putting them on facebook, crying because you made a mistake, laughing because the comedy programme you are watching has canned laughter when the funny bits happen, texting your ex-girlfriend for sex, downing a pint, punching people in the face, wearing the latest fashion, listening to 80's music and not because its great (which it is) but because its "in", smoking and not inhaling, coughing and sicking, shitting and pissing, being awake and being asleep... sleeping off the day to then repeat it again. wake, get ready for work, walk/cycle/drive to work, WORK, lunch time with work friends talking about work, work some more, leave work, have dinner with friends and moan about work, tickle/pleasure/curse with partner you met in an old job or through a work colleague and sleep to then do it all over again and to then do it all over again and do over again.
Just Remember that any reaction you have is neither the wrong or right way to react, so why react. - Just keep your mouth shut you fucking robot.

BARbara Windsor - RANT

FIRST FUCKING RANT:

Listen to this song as you read please:

So I currently work within a "DRINK SERVING" hell hole. I've worked bars now for 3 years and i've got to that sorry point of no return where the slightest slice of stupidity makes my knickers fizz with excitement and desperation to tell a fellow bartender how dumbfucked i've just been.
'DUMBFUCKED' the adj of 'DUMBFUCK'; to be DUMBFUCKED is to not react to a humans dim-witted approach to either drink order or drink prep conversation.
HARSH you may think, well silly you, because when it's a saturday night and you find yourself thinking
"Id rather die than serve that cunt a vodka and coke" and its only 11o'clock, then you have a problem.
Surely I could handle it, but I am well and truely one spot of bleach on my leggings away from placing a bottle of Ciro up the next chuff of any orange slutty bucketed whore, who sucks and fucks in the smoking area after vomming mushrooms and glitter all over the floor.
REASONS FOR ANGER SPLASH:

I'll set the scene folks. I shall play the part of Bartender, awaiting custom/or already serving but have to stop and be DUMBFUCKED right in my kisser.
Customer shall play the custom part.

WINE-ING and DIEING
Bartender: Hey there, what can I get you?
Customer: Can I have a large glass of wine...
ARE YOU A FUCKING DUMBARSE? BECAUSE YOU CLEARLY ARENT A WINE DRINKER ARE YOU? can I have a large glass of wine? No you fucking cant because i'm not you and I dont know what wine you are after. It's a bloody bar, imagine all that sodding wine - red, white, rose and thats not even the brands or types.

God Save the queens in my face
Customer: (action) waves a note at my fucking face although i'm clearly serving and that fat bitch is not next.
HOW RUDE!! Waving money at me, like she is so parched, seconds more of waiting could end her and her "mates" binge drinking, cigarette smoking, cocaine sniffing lives.

Are you open pal(S)?
Customer: (action) walking into the bar with his friends, all of which are looking around the bar, having a real gander at the emtpy seats and room to break dance as it is only 9o'clock and only the "uncool" and "golden oldies" are ready and in the town centre at fucking 9'oclock.
Customer: are you still open? (action) "laughter"
ITS FUCKING 9o'CLOCK DICKHEAD.. ONLY A FUCKING RETARDED BAR OWNER WOULD STAY OPENING DURING THE DAY ON A SODDING SATURDAY AND CLOSE AT 9PM!!!! although I hear your giggle, sliding through the gap in your 28 year old mouth, I find you to be the joke Sir, as you look like a prize tit and your beer belly is begging me to slap it or do a body shot off of it, as at least if i'm ill I get to go home and flick my bean over the idea of serving an attractive person (who does'nt think they are gods gift) who tips and wants a beautiful filled glass of Riesling because like me this fitty has a sweet tooth.
Bartender: Yes Sir, what can I get you and your men friends to drink (I could possibly say more about that terrible question he just asked me, but the idea of hearing myself being nice to somebody who clearly just walked through an open door and questioned the opening and closing of a BAR is making my mouth fill with water and my lips, which have been refered to as "Blow Jobs lips" can feel lastnights supper which is like a coulis flooding through my teeth and sticking to my top lip. If I muster another word I could potentially be serving him a pint of my vomit or be serving his checked shirt my sick.

PPPPProunciation
Customer: Alight love, i'l have a sixteen sixty four, a blue wicked and a glass of tap water.
FUCK YOU. To start with, any cunt that is drinking a WKD surely is'nt going to fucking need a glass of water, it's like drinking KA or Panda Pop, it's a small titted teen drink. Something that at the age of 14 i'd already realised was'nt going to get me drunk enough to kiss my fat bestfriend to impress the boys, fuck this shitty party im going home to play GTA VICE CITY.
NOTE: I was using alot of Captial letters which I know you understand, like WKD is named that way to make life for a drunked easy, so what the fuck is a "wicked blue" please call it what it says on the tin. I do not care how much fucking television you have seen and thats why you call it that, because of the fucking adverts. PRICK. Ohhh and lets not forget the 1664 which i'm sure is named Kronenbourg and 1664 is the year the beer was first brewed. I know why you are calling it 'sixteen sixty four' though LAD it's because you are a british twat and you just cant get your dryed up tongue around the word.


Have you got?
The customer has been waiting about 10 minutes for there drink and I am really sorry about it, i've been swomped because we are short staffed.. I'm running around and everytime I look at the bar to either talk to someone about there drink ect. I see this sad looking face. He shouts "i've been here for ages love" MOTHER FUCKER, IVE BEEN HERE SINCE 5! So I finish the drinks of those who were before said person and I say:
Bartender: I'm so sorry about the wait Sir, what can I get you?
Customer: Right, i'l have a Bud......
YOU HAVE BEEN FUCKING WAITING LIKE 10MINUTES AND YOU DID'NT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO LOOK AROUND THE BAR TO SEE THAT WE DO NOT HAVE BUD.
Bartender: I'm sorry Sir, we do not serve bud.
Customer: What other bottled beers do you have then?
I can honestly say I dont know where this cunt has been looking? like what the fuck has he been doing all this time...
Bartender: We have Peroni, Corona....
Customer: Peroni please sweetheart 3 of them, and DAVE, Oi Dave mate what you having (pulling someone who is nowhere near the bar who is chattin)
MATE, 10 FUCKING MINUTES AND YOU COULD'NT HAVE ASKED DAVE WHAT HE WANTED? WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU SERIOUSLY BEEN DOING WITH YOUR TIME. THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE MATE, A FUCKING TIME WASTER.. AND YOU DAVE YOU FUCKING CUNT.
Bartender: (action) after a few solid minutes and about 12 people who seem to think im not currently waiting to recieve information about drinks from said person, asking and frowning about service..
Customer: A bandy and coke, 2 Jager Bombs, 4 squashed frogs, (as this arsehole is telling me all the time swallowing drinks he wants, i'm listening and making as I listen as the till is currently being used by another member of staff..)
Bartender: There you are Sir that will be..
Customer: Oh sorry love and a Guinness.
OH MY GOODNESS. GUINNESS TAKES A LONG TIME TO FUCKING SETTLE, YOU COULD HAVE HAD THE HEART FOR ME AND THE OTHERS WHO ARE WAITING AND SAID THAT FIRST SO I CAN GET IT OUT OF THE WAY... WHY ARE YOU EVEN DRINKING IF YOU KNOW FUCK ALL ABOUT BOOZE.
.....few minutes pass....
Bartender: Sorry about that Sir, right now that will be (an amount over £20, i'm ranting and I simply am not going to take time out of my rant to give you a price list)
Customer: Bloody hell, didnt realise I was buying a mortgage
BECAUSE YOU CLEARLY ARENT... THEY ARE LIKE WHAT? OVER £100,000 AND IT'S A HOUSE YOU BUY!!! AND YOU ARE CURRENTLY MOANING ABOUT A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY. YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW MUCH 3 BOTTLES OF PERONI ARE... £9.90 SO DO NOT BE SUPRISED OR YOU COULD GO HOME, FUCK YOU FAT ARSE GIRLFRIEND FOR ONCE AND BUY A 6 PACK OF STELLA FOR UNDER £8 YOU CHEAP CUNT.
Customer: Here you go darling, and keep the change
Yeah, thanks.. that 10p is going to help go toward my fucking therapy bill you fucking goblin.

Wow, I feel better. So next time you go to a bar, THINK before you SPEAK.
Well really you should be doing that in life, that rule should apply to life mate.
Because if you are'nt careful, you could be in a huge queue of people who will and deserve to be sprayed with a soda/coke/lemonade gun. and no motherfucker you are not worth me paying for a whole glass of coke so it will be soda on your new t-shirt which I know is from Ed Hardy - Just because it's expensive doesnt make it good dickhead.

AND REMEMBER GANG:
Alcohol makes you a twisted and fucked up human being. 
If you are a women, its makes you the lonely slut you have always been. Fucking everyone and anyone thats got a pulse and alcohol makes you cry about past bad realtionships and friends you have lost due to know fault of your own.
If you are male it makes you think that everybody in the room wants to start a fight with you and you can just treat people like shit because you have the night off for once and you are letting your hair down and getting your dick out to random strangers because its funny.
- Alcohol doesnt make you do anything people, it just brings out your true self, the person you have to hide in reality because if you didnt mask your real personality you would never fuck anyone or ever get a job because really, really you are a fucking mug. Don't worry lads and ladies I am too, we all are wankers together, shitting and pissing and consuming junk food and terrible conversations day in day out. That is what being a Human is all about. Sorry to break the news to you so sneakly but i needed to smile as I currently have a candle melting looking face as I frowed so much during the RANT my eye brows are resting on the bridge of my nose. 

FIT

Cadaverous motherfuckers

Hi to all and to all hello!
Knowledge of this not being a RANT is fact!!
This is a film chat, swearing will still be had within this write but im not mad, just excited.
FILM : FINAL DESTINATION
ORDER OF DICUSSION : TOP 10 DEATHS.

Final Destination was something I was obsessed with, yes I was a very sad child but I was at the tender age of 10 when the first of 5 films came out (2000). I was shocked but loving the twist of escaping death and the reactions of the humans within the film losing lovers, family and friends and the silly and of course comical things they did to get rid of the pain they were all enduring. Eventhough they were not dead, they were seeing people die, waiting to die and being surrounded by things they loved that at anytime could kill them, its like the life of any human who should have died but didnt, they're life is over anyway due to the change in there life style.
Final Destination 2 (2003) was so much more creative with the death scenes and by half way through the film I realised that it was no longer about good acting and a story thats chilling an possible but more about how silly and gorefilled the deaths could become in order for the actors to hardly have any work to do what so ever. I kept a diary of my favourite deaths (I sound like a complete mentalist) and if you had the second film on DVD there was a second disc filled with scared shitless humans that believe they have special powers and they have experienced premonitions. The subject thrilled me but I, a realistic human being did not believe in such stupidity. il eat my hat if God, ghosts and the tooth fairy all come to me in my passing 'into my afterlife'
SO after going to Cineworld and paying nearly 9 English pounds I find myself sitting and waiting for the new Final Destination, NOT the FINAL DESTINATION, also known as Final Destination 4 which I found to be the worst of them all, utter shit!, but Final Destination 5. The deaths in this newby were, dare I say it SPLENDID, I was on the edge of my seat, although I had to be on the edge of my seat as some fat cunt felt it necessary to place there 1994 BUGGERS (which if you do not live in a rough town are trainers) on the start or end -so possibly the 'headboard' of my cinermatic chair. The film lead you into an odd sense of security, creating a scene which is obvious and cringe-worthy and then they die a completely different way. It was bloody sneaky. So I thought it best to do my TOP 10 FINAL DESTINATION deaths as i'm hoping they do not make another film, 4 was so terrible and 5 has finally mended that broken bridge between me and the FD films which at one point in my sorry life I would have called my 'FAVS' gimp.

Here we go, WARNING : SPOILER ALERT.

10) Terry Chaney - Just making the 4 o'clock bus. (FD1)

 

This death was a complete shock, and whilst the others watch Terry angrily walking away from them after they were trying to explain that they are all going to die and she is next, SPLAT! Mrs.Lewton's expression is priceless, as would anyones be, if they had the fittest student in the schools body bits on her brow. Although Terry's Death did not make it to the No.1 spot she gets first place for last famous words

"Just drop fucking dead!"

9) Frankie Cheeks - Fast food kills (FD3)

The guys warned him of an on-coming vehicle, Silly bunny, being a complete twat and taking his time in the drive-thru. He was asking for the back of his head to be shaved off or fanned off should I say. He was'nt even in the same year as the rest of the students, should'nt have been on the rollercoaster as it was not his graduation, and it was only for those lucky few. So Frankie is the biggest tit because death was'nt for him but he forced it upon himself. Well done Frankie you got what you wanted!

8) Lewis Romero - Working out Barbie (FD3)

The build up to this death is what forced me to put him within the list as I find the gore just not vulgar enough! The muscle men, grunting and sweating and shouting - an awful lot! The radio near the water spill, the huge bear, blades hanging from a wall, wearing a grey tight long sleeved T-shirt whilst working out. All these signs scream DISASTER. But in saying that noone could hear that scream over the grunting. "I JUST WIN" great last words.

7) Billy Hitchcock - Not-a-way-to-get-a-head-in-life. (FD1)

 

Billy is such an unfortunate name, it was clear to me as soon as I heard his name he was going to die a horrible death, because its such a cute name, what a sweetheart he was. He was shitting himself, claiming he was never going to die and hoping for me=ore pussy in his later life as he has turned down alot of muff in his time and then SLICE, only his chin is left. The train and the metal from the car make a great killing team.

6) Rory Peters - Cut my life into pieces (FD2)

Rory is another one of those 'on screen askers of death' Taking cocaine whilst driving, sleeping with lots of women, watching hardcore porn, not giving a flying fuck about life - you know the types, simply having fun he was. Whats wrong with snorting coke off of a 19-year-olds thigh after sky diving and and going 55mph in a 40 zone?? I do enjoy a stereotypical charatcher to make those kids think again about drinking white lighting in the park, when they could be studying to get better grades therefore get a better job so they can pay tax for those prego 14-year-olds and their 4 bedroom houses i'll never be able to afford. Thank you Government, cheers. not a RANT im just sayin'.

BONUS : Brian Gibbons - BOOM (FD2)

 

After being saved by one of those who was suppost to die and is now dead, he is now part of deaths new list. Gutt-rash. He just fucking exploded, no build-up just BOOM and up his arm flew. Landed right on mummy's plate aswell. Bless.

5) Evan Lewis - Was going to buy an EYEpod with my lotto money. (FD2)

Everything goes right for Evan, he escapes death, wins the lottery, every girl from high school wants his tiny dick so it was a shame poor money bags had to die and with so many things happening around his flat i'm surprised he didnt die sooner. Who has fridge magnets anymore anyway, I get the idea that he is a young adult, under-worked and over-paid but not enough to cook fresh food of an evening and yet he still has the time to buy childlike toys for his fridge door. SHAME on you Evan.

4) Ashley Freund & Ashlyn Halperin - Tanage (FD3)

 

Fit, young, nice racks but sadly they're skin was too pale (pah!). The fake sluts wonder off to the tanning salon for a "tune-up" well i'm sure thats what she says.. Foreign worker (yet another stereotypical charatcher) who tells the girls that drinks are not aloud in the booth,s is desperate to call his bitchy wife and the girls are desperate for thirst quenching slushies! This scene is amazingly vulgar and cringey but the part that makes it more scary is the Red Hot Chili Peppers song 'Rollercoaster' playing as they go from pale to deep-fat-fried. 

3) Erin Ulmer - Death by Nail Gunny wunny (FD3)

 

Gothy Erin and her murderous boyfriend did not believe they would die. As a goth I think she might have been quite excited about the chance and thought of death. You could almost hear her knickers fizzing if it was'nt for the nails impaling her skull. I love Goths they are always fit even if their face is like a steaming pile of dog shit you still want to lick it. You will find with the much loved character's that their death really is filthy to make more of an impression to the viewer. I say well done FD for ruining this girl!

2) Timmy Carpenter - Look! Pigeons (FD2)

 

As I was saying about that 'much loved' bullshit, The same story applies here. His like 17 and his mum still takes him to the dentist. So this death is his fucking mothers fault for loving him way to much. He was such a cutie pie. This death nearly made it to the No.1 spot because its fucking brilliant. He spends all that time in the dentists office, the gas is on way too much and his difting in and out of life and death. His mother is close to death by electrocution and a fucking fish (which I do not understand being where it was) falls in his bloody gob but still he and mother dearest manage to leave the dentist alive and well... Until Timmy scares some pigeons, they give a mechianist a fright causing him to drop the huge plate of glass onto Timmys head. Nearly made it to Number 1 Tim. Soz.

1) Candice Hooper - Gym and trim off the fat. (FD5)

WINNER. Candice got to the winning spot for one reason and one reason only, it was a fucking amazing (dear i say EPIC) death, it was realistic and it was a complete and utter shock to my system. I wanted to jump out of my seat and shout "Fuck yes" but of course your not aloud to do those sorts of things. The gore was perfect, amount of blood was great, there wasnt too little and there wasnt too much it was just right. She was first to go which was excellent and she was much loved, causing her weird boyfriend to flip out of control. 

FD5 is a good gorey film and should be scene by anyone who is willing to give FD a break after the disgrace that was Final Destination 4, which you may notice didnt get any of there deaths in the list. They were good but just not good enough. 

I hope you enjoyed my second post, first film post and the pictures too.

BONUS : Nadia Monroy - SPLASH (FD4)

 

She got FUCKED UP by a tyre.

REMEMBER GANG :
Death is waiting, No no im just kidding.. but here is some unusual deaths for you to read. Pretty Crazy.

2011: Sheila Decoster, 62, died from asphyxiation after falling head first into a recycling bin at her home in Toledo, Ohio.

2011: Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, died after being stabbed in the leg at a cockfight by one of the birds that had a knife attached to its limb.

2010: Jenny Mitchell, a 19-year-old English hairdresser, was killed when her car exploded after fumes, caused by chemicals mixing with hydrogen peroxide leaking from a bottle of hair bleach, ignited as she lit a cigarette.

2008: Abigail Taylor, a 6-year-old from Edina, Minnesota, died nine months after several of her internal organs were partially sucked out of her lower body while she sat on an excessively powerful swimming pool drain. Surgeons had replaced her intestines and pancreas with donor organs, but she later succumbed to a rare transplant-related cancer.

 2007: Humberto Hernandez, a 24-year-old Oakland, California resident, was killed after being struck in the face by an airborne fire hydrant while walking. A passing car had struck the fire hydrant and the water pressure shot the hydrant at Hernandez with enough force to kill him.

2004: An unidentified Taiwanese woman died of alcohol intoxication after immersion for twelve hours in a bathtub filled with 40% ethanol. Her blood alcohol content was 1.35%. It was believed that she had immersed herself as a response to the SARS epidemic.

2004: Phillip Quinn, a 24-year-old from Kent, Washington, was killed while heating up a lava lam on his kitchen stove. The lamp exploded and a shard pierced his heart.

2002: Richard Sumner, a British artist suffering from schizophrenia, went into a remote section of Clocaenog Forest in Denbighshire, Wales, handcuffed himself to a tree and threw the keys out of his reach. His skeleton was discovered three years later.

1987: Budd Dwyer, the State Treasurer of Pennsylvania, committed suicide during a televised press conference in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Facing a potential 55-year jail sentence for alleged involvement in a conspiracy, Dwyer shot himself in the head with a revolver.

1927: Isadora Duncan, dancer, died of a broken neck when her long scarf caught on the wheel of a car in which she was a passenger.

 

Ta Ta, Goodbye, See you later.

Hello in French, this here is the first post.

My blogging story:

Life is hard, yes yes it is, and bad things happen, oh sure of course they do.
So this brings me to RANTblogger. I rant, sometimes with reason sometimes just because its not safe to constantly be a boiling kettle, you have the hot water, the tea bags are in the tea pot and the sugar dish is ready on a tray next the Rich Tea half opened packet of biscuits. Yet you still boil, bubbling, watching people living their lives, chat chat chatting like there isnt a contained 7 cup holding water boiler jumping up and to the sides like it has ants in its pants.
NOTES:
I always feel refreshed but slightly bad after a rant. Im a nice, normal, working human being so my words are not gospel, so do not get too serious.
There does seem to be two sides to the RANT, an overreacting and a defending, they are both me, just trying to prove that there usually is two or more different sides to a story.
When i RANT im not thinking about correct spelling, im dribbling out words and thoughts in anger therefore not thinking clearly, so yes there maybe some errors. Im usually petty with spelling but not when im foaming at the mouth.
ITS NOT ALL RANTS:
Every now and then i shall throw in some chit chat about film, art, design, music, people, websites, ect ect. But beware they may start off a RANT. I will swear quite some.

Enjoy yourself, and the next time you feel asthought you are going to explode, read some of the RANTS as they may help you in your life, which I personally know nothing about.
Il always find a nice picture for you aswell, at the end of each post.